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Keep on puffin', Vancouver - 101 ways to smoke out a diva
By: Jay Schreiber, The Other Press (CN BC Edu), 05-11-09

Earlier last month, I was super pumped when it was days away from the Cannibal Corpse concert on April 10th. This is a band I have a long history with and the fact that they were in town just made me ooze with excitement.

The bottom line is that every time I'm around these guys, something happens and no matter what, a story comes of it. This time around was no different.

The last few times I've seen Cannibal Corpse, I've had everything from injured limbs, to backstage passes; there's never been a boring Corpse show.

Outside's pre-show party only further convinced me that tonight was going to be another one for the history books.

The lead up to Good Friday's evening events began as usual, with swarms of metal heads that blast music from their vans and down a couple o' brews before the show outside. But inside the CCC, a completely different tale was being spun with a few shockers upon entry.

First off, no beer garden. The entire event was as dry as English humour, and nowhere near as funny. Alcohol and heavy metal go together like peanut butter and bananas; both are equally enjoyable on their own, but together they create an entirely new experience.

The next upset dealt with the renovations that took place. Sure, the place looks nicer and is more aesthetically pleasing, but there seems to be a lack of a water fountain, seating and standing space. The main areas at the CCC consist of the concert hall, the foyer, the beer garden, and the smoke pit.

The concert hall is where the merch tables, canteen, and stage are. The foyer and the beer garden are two places away from the noise but still indoors if you feel like socializing or having a drink. Without a beer garden, and the new 15-foot wide display box, the amount of people that can fit into that space is on par with sardines.

I headed outside while my friends had a smoke and I was greeted with more upsetting news. The smoke pit had been reduced in size to be about half of what it had been in the past, making it much more cozy and friendly to people. The availability came as a shocker too, with the doors leading outside being shut during all performances. "No smokers until in a break in the program," the bouncers would tell people. I'm not huge on smoking, but don't you think that kind of limiting to a person's basic freedoms?

A few days before this concert, Britney Spears left the stage at GM Place due to the amount of smoke surrounding the stage. Official reports said that it was cigarette smoke, but Ms. Spears said at the end of the night, "Don't smoke weed!"

With stricter substance laws, smokers get the butt end. GM Place officially closed its smoke pit due to health concerns. These health concerns deal with people smoking directly around you and affecting your lungs with second hand smoke.

Wait a minute... If you're in a smoke pit, then logically, you'd be smoking right? I mean, isn't that the reason for you to be out there? If you don't want to be around smoke, then don't go into a designated area for smokers.

These health laws are prejudice towards smokers, and I don't think that it's fair to the rest of us. Like I've said before, I'm not huge on smoking, but when smoking becomes a restriction against my will, then something needs to be said. Instead of smoking outside, around other smokers, people are deciding to smoke inside around everyone else, and that's a bigger health concern.

I've heard arguments from people who go outside and don't smoke, and all I have to say to that is this: you are putting yourself around smokers, and if you don't like that then don't do it. It's called a smoking area for a reason, and you know full well the risk of putting yourself there. You have a choice in the matter, just like the smoker has a choice to light up or not.

Inside the corpse show, I found it hard to breathe with the stench of tobacco, sweat and skunk filling my personal airspace. What some lawmakers fail to realize is that no matter what you do, people are going to use substances whether you like it or not. You can take away our beer garden, but we're still going to drink before or sometimes during the show. People are going to smoke whenever and whatever they want, and it's better that they do it in a designated area away from people who don't want anything to do with that. It seems that the government is attempting to phase out smoking from society all together with these stricter laws and anti-tobacco regulations. Yeah, good luck!

The crowd was tame and timid and everyone complained, but regardless, the show was good and performances were top notch despite sobriety. Next time I go to a concert, I'm planning on sparking up inside, just out of spite!